who, moi?

my current obsessions are:

wine gums
and
nachos

i must have them.

i'm shortly to turn into a nacho...

mmm cheesey

i always wanted to be someone or something.

i know most children do. they want to be a pop star or a footballer or Miss World. but i'm grown up (debatable i know) and i still want to be something.

i'm ok at languages.
i can cook a nice cake
i could draw or paint you a nice picture

but there's nothing i'm really good at. nothing that would be my talent or my speciality. i'm just ok at things.

i will start something new and give up when it's apparent that it doesn't come as naturally to me as breathing does. becasue i want to be good at it, straight away. i don't want to have to work at it, not just becasue i'm lazy.... but becasue i want it to be something that i was clearly born to do.

i'm also evious of people who are

for example, goths. those girls who dress like they're a 50's Hollywood film star. the quirky girls who wear a mish mash of clothes but look stylish anyway. they know who they are and their wardrobes are clearly just full of things that are them.
ok, i wear nice clothes but i don't have my own style.

i'm not someone or something and i can't work out what i'm supposed to be....

"you won't recognise me when you see me next, i'll be skinny with nice firm boobs..."

becasue i got some L'Oreal anti-cellulite bumf you see, to bathe in.

that's the problem with an imminent holiday with four friends....none of whom are bigger than a size 10. it's enough to make you sew your mouth up and book an appointment with Dr Lipo.

i've been smothering my thighs (i like to call them 'hams') and my tummy with the stuff for two weeks now.

"promised results in 4 weeks. if you believe that, i'm a pink flying pony" i thought.

well, looks like i'm going to have to grow some wings and have a spray job, becasue fuck me...it works!!!

ok i'm not Twiggy, but i'm firmer and less bumpy and....yes..... fine lines and gargantuan dimles have been smoothed out (a little).

still more beached whale than beach ready...but it's a start.

ok ok i admit it, i'm here because he is...but you know, it's quite nice and you lot seem to have given him good advice about 'the situation' with me... ahem

so... it's nice to have a blog somewhere no one knows me

prepare to be dazzled

or plain bored!